Many, many years ago, a friend of mine had a boyfriend, who was less than stellar. Putting it mildly, he was an ass.

During their long relationship and many disagreements, said boyfriend would often say, “Love it or leave it.” I was appalled when I was told he said this. How could he not even be willing to try and change to make the relationship work?

I have since realized that Love it or leave it should be a silent mental mantra we all let guide us in life, well… to an extent, at least.

I was told by a friend that this thought is traveling down a slippery slope.

I paused and thought about this, a slippery slope? Possibly. But, aren’t we already treading a slippery slope when we live a life in anticipation of something or someone changing.

In reality, this guy wasn’t going to change, and quite frankly, shouldn’t change, to rise up to my friends needs, nor should my friend neglect what it is she needs. He, meaning we all, isn’t/aren’t going to change until we are darn well ready to or until our life is on the path toward that change.

Love it or leave it runs deeper than the obvious. When we truly love someone, and they leave their mess around, or become neglectful, we still essentially love them. This is part of love, accepting what we think are shortcomings. So in this sense, we have no real reason to leave.

When we are in a relationship with someone (friend, family or lover) and we are mistreated or the relationship is detrimental in some way, leaving may make the most sense.

No one should be expected to be who they aren’t for the sake of another, even if said person is genuinely an ass. We may do crappy things or we may just like to eat our dinner in our underwear. That doesn’t mean though that we should change to fulfill someone else’s desires for us.

We are the only ones who can lead our personal journey. We will all take wrong turns, run into roadblocks, and quite possibly fall into a hole. A guide is only a temporary deterrent. We, one day, will still need to re-findour path and take it. Don’t delay the inevitable and stay on course.

We are who we are and can’t and shouldn’t change to make others like us or accept us. This boyfriend wasn’t right for my friend. They learned from each other what needed to be learned then it was time to move on. Not much more could come from it.

If moving on is what it takes, then move. If that means saying goodbye to those who don’t think we are good enough or expect us to change, so be it.

Follow your path, learn from the lessons meant for you, and love and accept yourself. You may need to pull on your all-terrain boots to traverse that slippery slope.

Be conscious of every twist and turn and be prepared for the precipices you may near. As Obi Wan Kenobi says, “Be mindful, Anakin,” you too should be mindful of your choices and be the master of those choices.

When you are mindful of all that you encounter, you will see the light leading your path.

It’s your choice, ‘Love it or Leave it’.

*****